I never thought I'd say this on American soil, but the Rooskie's right.

Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted

(2012)

Eric Darnell and Tom McGrath have shown remarkable dedication to their escaped zoo animal animated franchise, returning to steer each of the sequels (here joined by Conrad Vernon). As such, the formula is tried and tested; bring back the four main players (Stiller, Rock, Schwimmer, Pinkett Smith), let the support steal the best gags (Baron Cohen, Cedric the Entertainer, McGrath as the penguin leader), ensure there are multiple hyperbolic set pieces and sprinkle liberally atop all of this a number of Euro-cheese dance tracks. Oh, and don’t forget to include a dollop of sentiment/moralising.

This is the DreamWorks formula, and whether it is more or less successful creatively it usually pays off in box office. Indeed, careening from this path hasn’t enamoured their shareholders (see Rise of the Guardians), although it could be argued that if they tried to stretch themselves a bit more they’d have more critical successes like How to Train Your Dragon. Madagascar 3 is perfectly serviceable and often very funny, but it’s largely indistinguishable from the previous installments (I say that having enjoyed both of them, which is just as well as they seem to be shown on a loop on TV).

This time round, the quarter follow the penguins and monkeys to Monte Carlo (it appears that they got there just by swimming, whereas the penguins flew by plane; given the travel difficulties established later in the film, it’s just as well this is glossed over) to persuade them to return to New York. Almost immediately they are subject to the unwanted attention of Chantel DuBois (Frances McDormand, excellent) an Animal Control officer who has been amusingly rendered as both ungainly of body and super-agile. It’s unfortunate that the highlight of Madagascar 3 is the breathless, hilarious chase sequence that takes up the first 20 minutes. It’s *****-star entertainment, and one of the studio’s greatest achievements to date.

After that, alas, things turn fairly run-of-the-mill. The characters join a travelling circus, and of course there are lessons to be learned, friendships to be tested and Animal Control to be dodged.

The main guest vocals all acquit themselves splendidly; Bryan Cranston is Vitaly the Russian hoop-diving tiger, Jessica Chastain plays a rather sexy leopard and Martin Short is an endearingly dim sea lion, Stefano. Nevertheless, as usual it’s Sacha Baron Cohen’s lemur who steals the film. Julien’s romance with a performing bear is both ridiculous and delightful. Elsewhere the penguins’ strategies are ever-inventive, but the prize ruse must go to the monkeys disguised as the King of Versailles.

Enjoyable as the Madagascars are, they should really probably call it a day on the franchise now. The anarchic impulses of the supporting characters tend to be balanced by the more melodramatic pursuits of the leads (albeit, Rock’s zebra usually gets to embrace the crazy) and there doesn’t seem to be much place left to take the former (particularly with the finale taking place in New York).

It’s fashionable to embrace Pixar and deride DreamWorks, but nothing is that simple. The first Shrek and How to Train Your Dragon rank with the very best CGI animation and, while Dreamworks’ tendency to sequelise is lowest common denominator, Pixar has now followed exactly the same pattern. I wasn’t all that taken with the Kung Fu Pandas, but I’d watch them any day over Cars and Cars 2. Perhaps the best compliment I can give the Madagascar series is that when I inevitably find one showing on the box I give it at least a couple of minutes before switching over.

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Your Mickey Mouse is one big stupid dope!

Enemy Mine (1985) (SPOILERS) The essential dynamic of Enemy Mine – sworn enemies overcome their differences to become firm friends – was a well-ploughed one when it was made, such that it led to TV Tropes assuming, since edited, that it took its title from an existing phrase (Barry Longyear, author of the 1979 novella, made it up, inspired by the 1961 David Niven film The Best of Enemies ). The Film Yearbook Volume 5 opined that that Wolfgang Petersen’s picture “ lacks the gritty sauciness of Hell in the Pacific”; John Boorman’s WWII film stranded Lee Marvin and Toshiro Mifune on a desert island and had them first duking it out before becoming reluctant bedfellows. Perhaps germanely, both movies were box office flops.

If I do nothing else, I will convince them that Herbert Stempel knows what won the goddam Academy Award for Best goddam Picture of 1955. That’s what I’m going to accomplish.

Quiz Show (1994) (SPOILERS) Quiz Show perfectly encapsulates a certain brand of Best Picture nominee: the staid, respectable, diligent historical episode, a morality tale in response to which the Academy can nod their heads approvingly and discerningly, feeding as it does their own vainglorious self-image about how times and attitudes have changed, in part thanks to their own virtuousness. Robert Redford’s film about the 1950s Twenty-One quiz show scandals is immaculately made, boasts a notable cast and is guided by a strong screenplay from Paul Attanasio (who, on television, had just created the seminal Homicide: Life on the Streets ), but it lacks that something extra that pushes it into truly memorable territory.

Say hello to the Scream Extractor.

Monsters, Inc. (2001) (SPOILERS) I was never the greatest fan of Monsters, Inc. , even before charges began to be levelled regarding its “true” subtext. I didn’t much care for the characters, and I particularly didn’t like the way Pixar’s directors injected their own parenting/ childhood nostalgia into their plots. Something that just seems to go on with their fare ad infinitum. Which means the Pixars I preferred tended to be the Brad Bird ones. You know, the alleged objectivist. Now, though, we learn Pixar has always been about the adrenochrome, so there’s no going back…

Other monks will meet their deaths here. And they too will have blackened fingers. And blackened tongues.

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No one can be told what the Matrix is. You have to see it for yourself.

The Matrix (1999) (SPOILERS) Twenty years on, and the articles are on the defining nature of The Matrix are piling up, most of them touching on how its world has become a reality, or maybe always was one. At the time, its premise was engaging enough, but it was the sum total of the package that cast a spell – the bullet time, the fashions, the soundtrack, the comic book-as-live-action framing and styling – not to mention it being probably the first movie to embrace and reflect the burgeoning Internet ( Hackers doesn’t really count), and subsequently to really ride the crest of the DVD boom wave. And now? Now it’s still really, really good.

Piece by piece, the camel enters the couscous.

The Forgiven (2021) (SPOILERS) By this point, the differences between filmmaker John Michael McDonagh and his younger brother, filmmaker and playwright Martin McDonagh, are fairly clearly established. Both wear badges of irreverence and provocation in their writing, and a willingness to tackle – or take pot-shots – at bigger issues, ones that may find them dangling their toes in hot water. But Martin receives the lion’s share of the critical attention, while John is generally recognised as the slightly lesser light. Sure, some might mistake Seven Psychopaths for a John movie, and Calvary for a Martin one, but there’s a more flagrant sense of attention seeking in John’s work, and concomitantly less substance. The Forgiven is clearly aiming more in the expressly substantial vein of John’s earlier Calvary, but it ultimately bears the same kind of issues in delivery.

You ever heard the saying, “Don’t rob the bank across from the diner that has the best donuts in three counties”?

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Twenty dwarves took turns doing handstands on the carpet.

Bugsy (1991) (SPOILERS) Bugsy is very much a Warren Beatty vanity project (aren’t they all, even the ones that don’t seem that way on the surface?), to the extent of his playing a title character a decade and a half younger than him. As such, it makes sense that producer Warren’s choice of director wouldn’t be inclined to overshadow star Warren, but the effect is to end up with a movie that, for all its considerable merits (including a script from James Toback chock full of incident), never really feels quite focussed, that it’s destined to lead anywhere, even if we know where it’s going.

In a few moments, you will have an experience that will seem completely real. It will be the result of your subconscious fears transformed into your conscious awareness.

Brainstorm (1983) (SPOILERS) Might Brainstorm have been the next big thing – a ground-breaking, game-changing cinematic spectacle that had as far reaching consequences as Star Wars (special effects) or Avatar (3D) – if only Douglas Trumbull had been allowed to persevere with his patented “Showscan” process (70mm film photographed and projected at 60 frames per second)? I suspect not; one only has to look at the not-so-far-removed experiment of Ang Lee with Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk , and how that went down like a bag of cold sick, to doubt that any innovation will necessarily catch on (although Trumbull at least had a narrative hinge on which to turn his “more real than real” imagery, whereas Lee’s pretty much boiled down to “because it was there”). Brainstorm ’s story is, though, like its title, possibly too cerebral, too much concerned with the consciousness and touting too little of the cloyingly affirmative that Bruce Rubin inevitably brings to his screenplays. T

Haven’t you ever heard of the healing power of laughter?

Batman (1989) (SPOILERS) There’s Jaws , there’s Star Wars , and then there’s Batman in terms of defining the modern blockbuster. Jaws ’ success was so profound, it changed the way movies were made and marketed. Batman’s marketing was so profound, it changed the way tentpoles would be perceived: as cash cows. Disney tried to reproduce the effect the following year with Dick Tracy , to markedly less enthusiastic response. None of this places Batman in the company of Jaws as a classic movie sold well, far from it. It just so happened to hit the spot. As Tim Burton put it, it was “ more of a cultural phenomenon than a great movie ”. It’s difficult to disagree with his verdict that the finished product (for that is what it is) is “ mainly boring ”. Now, of course, the Burton bat has been usurped by the Nolan incarnation (and soon the Snyder). They have some things in common. Both take the character seriously and favour a sombre tone, which was much more of shock to the

Now In Full Color, with a Happier Ending

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