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I punched a werewolf in the face.


The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
(2010)

Better directed than the previous sequel (this time 30 Days of Night's David Slade is on megaphone duties) but no less adolescent and turgid. 

Taylor Lautner delivers a performance with all the flair of a musclebound Matthew Waterhouse, and spends two thirds of the movie being petulant and sulky to remind you of this. It seems strange that they brought in Bryce Dallas Howard for the last two films to replace the original Victoria when she has about 10 minutes of screen time across them.

Some half-decent action occurs in the last 20 minutes, but you have to get past Pattison and Lautner sitting in a tent talking about how, no, they really love Kristin Stewart, to get there. Which, location aside, also constituted the previous 80 minutes.

**

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