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When I was just a boy, I prayed to the Gods, for a horse. The Gods never answered me. So I stole one, instead.


Immortals
(2011)

Tarsem Singh certainly knows how to put an image together, and there's some phenomenal design work on display. And Freida Pinto's shapely seat (well, stunt seat). But the fast-and-loose with Greek myths plot stinks. It’s utterly incoherent, nonsensical and, worse, lacks momentum. 

Henry Cavill is muscle-bound but no charisma-machine, so I hope he steps up his game for Superman. Mickey Rourke brings zero interesting to the table, and that's about it. 

The design of the Titans has a certain Hellraiser frisson, but the whole conceit of the immortals (they're not, WTF?) means the climax descends into well-choreographed risibility.

**

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