I'm a person and my name is Anakin.

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

(1999)

Things that are worthwhile about The Phantom Menace; Ian McDiarmid's performance is rock solid, and one of the few commendable aspects of Lucas' plot is the way that the villain pretty much succeeds in his plans without breaking a sweat. The light saber fight is enthralling, and it's a credit to the choreography - and the editing - that the other rather ropey battles intercut with it are sustained so well by wanting to see its outcome. Darth Maul is an impressively iconic creation too (one of the few of the prequel trilogy), and Williams “scores” with another majestic theme for the Sith/Jedi fight.

What doesn't work: pretty much everything else, but the biggest problem is Jake Lloyd. His complete lack of presence destroys every scene he's in. Whatever Lucas' coups in previous casting choices, he swings to the negative here in one disastrous decision. Even the understandably maligned Jar-Jar fades into insignificance next to "Anni". I can just about stomach the constipated continuity-obsessiveness, and the peculiar lack of confidence from Lucas that impels him to "busy up" the screen with unnecessary CGI at every opportunity, but Annakin renders the return to Tatooine inert aside from the pod race (which is more like a live action Whacky Races than anything Star Wars) and means that the bits you look forward to are the drab politicking.

**1/2

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She writes Twilight fan fiction.

Vampire Academy (2014)
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Prediction 2019 Oscars
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Starship Troopers (1997)
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Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)
(SPOILERS) Ironically, given the source material, think I probably fell into the category of many who weren't overly disposed to give this big screen Spider-Man a go on the grounds that it was an animation. After all, if it wasn’t "good enough" for live-action, why should I give it my time? Not even Phil Lord and Christopher Miller's pedigree wholly persuaded me; they'd had their stumble of late, although admittedly in that live-action arena. As such, it was only the near-unanimous critics' approval that swayed me, suggesting I'd have been missing out. They – not always the most reliable arbiters of such populist fare, which made the vote of confidence all the more notable – were right. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse is not only a first-rate Spider-Man movie, it's a fresh, playful and (perhaps) surprisingly heartfelt origins story.

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Roma (2018)
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My name is Dr. King Schultz, this is my valet, Django, and these are our horses, Fritz, and Tony.

Django Unchained (2012)
(MINOR SPOILERS) Since the painful misstep of Grindhouse/Death Proof, Quentin Tarantino has regained the higher ground like never before. Pulp Fiction, his previous commercial and critical peak, has been at very least equalled by the back-to-back hits of Inglourious Basterds and Django Unchained. Having been underwhelmed by his post Pulp Fiction efforts (albeit, I admired his technical advances as a director in Kill Bill), I was pleasantly surprised by Inglourious Basterds. It was no work of genius (so not Pulp Fiction) by any means, but there was a gleeful irreverence in its treatment of history and even to the nominal heroic status of its titular protagonists. Tonally, it was a good fit for the director’s “cool” aesthetic. As a purveyor of postmodern pastiche, where the surface level is the subtext, in some ways he was operating at his zenith. Django Unchained is a retreat from that position, the director caught in the tug between his all-important aesthetic pr…

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Rejoice! The broken are the more evolved. Rejoice.

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Shyamalan has seized on a horror staple – nubile teenage girls in peril, prey to a psychotic antagonist – and, no doubt with the best intentions, attempted to warp it. But, in so doing, he has dragged in themes and threads from other, more meritable fare, with the consequence that, in the end, the conflicting positions rather subvert his attempts at subversion…

Now In Full Color, with a Happier Ending

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