Jurassic Park III
(2001)
(SPOILERS) Jurassic Park has
to be a prime contender for the most doggedly formulaic of all blockbuster
franchises. The Lost World went a bit
darker, and even broke out of the park for one sequence, but it was otherwise
so unadventurous that it even conjured a previously unmentioned second island
out of nowhere. Spielberg couldn’t even be bothered to return for the second
sequel, and it isn’t hard to see why. An inane contrivance to get (one of) our
protagonist back on the island (or rather, the different island, and not even
the interesting protagonist) and new characters with a high annoyance quotient
ensure the only things in Jurassic Park
III’s favour are its lean running time and a couple of inventive plot
devices and/or dinosaurs.
This is the one where Sam Neill’s Dr Alan Grant (he’s the
boring protagonist, mixing out Jeff Goldblum’s chatty geek chic from The Lost World) is lured to previous
movie’s island (Isla Sorna) by the promise of a big fat cheque to keep him in
archaeological digging for a few years to come. This is at the behest of a
couple of divorced parents (William H Macy and Tea Leoni as Paul and Amanda
Kirby) attempting to rescue their son and her boyfriend (whom she can’t be that
into as she couldn’t give a flying one about him snuffing it). They managed to
imperil themselves by going on a paragliding trip right next to the island.
Doh!
The dumb opening sequence, aside from some very obvious
green screen, sets up the kind of scenario one would expect from a ‘70s cheapie
sequel. What may surprise here is that the script is credited to Alexander
Payne, Jim Taylor and Peter Buchman. The first two on that list are responsible
for Oscar bait offbeat comedies such as Election,
About Schmidt and Sideways. Perhaps action fare isn’t their
strong point (they also wrote I Now
Pronounce You Chuck & Larry, so perhaps Adam Sandler comedies aren’t
either). To be fair to them, it sounds like Spielberg and Johnston made a right
balls-up, rejecting an original script, involving Pteranodon attacks on the
mainland, only five weeks before filming began. The one before that sounded
even worse, with teenagers marooned on the island.
They were probably also weighed down by Spielberg playing it
ultra-safe. He drafted in Joe Johnston to direct, a former visual effects guy
whose first feature (Honey, I Shrunk the
Kids) remains easily his best. Jurassic
Park III at least has a bit more zip than some of his more listless moments
(Captain America: The First Avenger),
and visually it’s of a piece (courtesy of cinematographer Shelly Johnson – not Twin Peaks’ Shelly Johnson). But it’s so
narratively banal, technical competence cannot save it.
It’s a checklist of elements being met that is no more
inventive than the Jaws sequels Spielberg pointedly eschewed. This is something
Jurassic World, for all it being
announced as something different, is still servicing. The wonder and awe of the
first movie (and, being cynical, it was never that wondrous or awesome in the first place) has now thoroughly
dispersed, so the John Williams score feels wholly out of place (Williams
couldn’t be doing with it, so Don Davis is called upon, like Johnston and
special cinematographer Johnson, to hit all the right beats). Ineffectually
twee even (not that you’d expect sentiment from a Spielberg production). This is a production line sequel in the most
unrepentant fashion, and the symptoms of this speak loudly when you compare the
grosses of this franchise; each has made about a third less than the previous
one.
Presumably Spielberg et al thought the “Park” part was essential. Which meant the island part was. As was
having a wee kiddie as one of the main characters and an unhealthy dose of
surrogate parenting, or at least re-bonding. All these elements look to be back
in Jurassic World. The natural next
stage for this franchise would have been a proper
monster movie in a thriving metropolis, as suggested by the end of The Lost World. But this is essentially
a toothless series, one too lily-livered to allow its monsters to be proper monsters;
they’re scary, but you can’t stab them, shoot them full of holes or blow them
to smithereens. They can be as mean
as they want, but the unironic conservation element underlying these
genetically engineered endangered species hamstrings the picture. The result
can only be “run away” plotting, so it’s very limited in possibilities. If
humans fight back it becomes Aliens.
This may be why the new movie has come up with a fully-fledged
genetically enhanced dinosaur. You probably
can destroy a fake dinosaur up with impunity. Nothing off message there. Grant’s
unimaginative correction of one of Laura Dern’s kids (playing with plastic
dinosaurs), that they shouldn’t be fighting because one is a herbivore, is the
kind of restraint that has severely limited the potential of the franchise.
Perhaps they should have gone the full Westworld
hog, and had Jurassic World with insane
robot dinosaurs. Ones that can go berserk, fight real dinosaurs and be exploded
all over the place.
As was the case with The
Lost World, a decent cast has been assembled. Unfortunately they’re awarded
one-note characters to a thespian. Macy does his usual unheroic but
well-meaning shtick. Leoni is saddled with the “bloody silly woman” part you
rather hoped had disappeared from movies circa The Poseidon Adventure. Shouting, screaming, running away, doing
all the things you shouldn’t do in a dangerous situation, unless you’re being
pursued by Jason Voorhees.
Alessandro Nivola, a good actor who for some reason has never
really made it big (but was still just about a rising next-big-thing at the
time, thanks in no small part to Face/Off)
gets to be the young hot head protégée of Grant, one who apparently knows
bugger all about dinosaurs since he’s responsible for stealing two raptor eggs.
Still, he’s not so bad, apparently, as they don’t kill him off (Billy’s reappearance
in the last scene stands out glaringly, and was reportedly a result of Nivola
protesting about his demise to Johnston).
Grumpy Grant is reteamed with a sprog (Trevor Morgan’s
Eric), whose ability to defend himself from dinosaurs isn’t quite as ridiculous as the gymnastic
girl in The Lost World, but still
takes some swallowing. Like Aliens’
Newt, but with gas grenades and a camouflage gear, Eric manages to survive in
the jungle for eight weeks when he should have long since been dinosaur
breakfast. He even knows to fend off dinosaurs with a bottle of T-Rex pee. It
just so happens he’s a huge fan of Grant, and has read all his books. I liked
the dig at the rivalry between Grant and Goldblum’s Ian Malcolm, though. Eric’s
critique of Malcolm’s book, that it was “kind
of preachy” and it “seems like the
guy was high on himself” finds Grant readily concurring. If Jurassic World births a new trilogy, it
would be nice to see the old guys back and butting heads at some point.
Grant’s actually better before he goes back to the island.
During a post-lecture Q&A, a host of hands go up. “Does anyone have a question that does not relate to Jurassic Park?”
he clarifies. When only most of them go down, he adds “Or the incident in San Diego which I did not witness?” One or two
are left up. His snoozing on the plane
with his hat over his face only draws attention to how he very much he is not Indiana Jones, however. He'd have been better suited to Steven Spielberg Presents Time Team.
Still, the theory is audiences are showing for the big dino
set pieces, and Park III at least
manages to throw in a couple that save the picture from being completely
redundant. The spinosaurus, the new dinosaurus that can put paid to a T-Rex,
isn’t really all that impressive or fearsome. It lacks the same predatory sleekness
that makes the T-Rex or the raptors so effective. The writers come up with the
occasional coup, though. Early on, Grant is pursued by a T-Rex, running into
the spinosaurus, which leads to the two titans duking it out. Most inventive is
the running device of Paul’s satellite phone, which turns out to be inside the
spinosaurus. And later, buried in a big pile of its shit.
The raptors are still the main attraction here, JP’s equivalent of xenomorphs. Like the Alien franchise, however, familiarity
lessens their fear factor. Now a jungle boy with some smoke can scare them off.
The final standoff is quite effective, but still; much has already been made of
how smart they are (“They were smarter
than dolphins or whales. They were smarter than primates”), yet they seem
to have qualms about picking off the group simply because there are a couple of
eggs in their possession? And because Grant uses the imitation raptor larynx (made
with a 3D printer!) to confuse them? Still, there’s always the ice cold way one
snaps Michael Jeter’s neck. The best moment is still of the good old fashioned
shock variety; coming across a derelict lab, Amanda sees a raptor preserved in
a glass case. Then said raptor blinks…
The appearance of pteranodons ought to have been the star exhibit,
but Johnston fails to make the best use of them. Ironically, their first
appearance is not in flight but walking on a fog shrouded bridge, and its much
more eerie and impressive than the subsequently rather daft sight of them carrying
of Eric and Billy rescuing him with a feat of paragliding.
One seriously has to wonder at the safety precautions of quarantining
this island too. As in, it’s scarcely feasible that it would be left so
accessible, that it would be left to run amok, and that flying dinobirds would
be allowed to take off to form colonies God knows where.
Dr Grant’s rather trite moral, on discovering Billy has
stolen the eggs is, “Some of the worst
things imaginable are due to the best intentions”. You couldn’t accuse the
makers of Jurassic Park III of having
the best intentions. This is the most half-hearted of attempts to squeeze some
cash out of a steadily floundering franchise. It’s no wonder it has taken 14
years for a fourth instalment to arrive, and I’m dubious even then that it will
be different enough to truly reinvigorate it. That discarded John Sayles script,
with the intelligent, genetically engineered raptors working for the military
might have provided partial inspiration for Jurassic
World, but from the trailers it doesn’t look as if it has providing
anything quite different enough.
