Trapped
Ashes
(2006)
Reasonably
dire anthology horror bringing together an eclectic mix of directors (Joe
Dante, Sean S Cunningham, Monte Hellman, Ken Russell and, er, visual effects
guy John Gaeta) to service a ropey screenplay from Dennis Bartok.
This was
the last feature Sir Kenwood was involved in, which is a shame. At least he
went out true to form, as his segment involves copious shots of Rachel Veltri’s
tits. In service of the plot, of course. The
Girl with Golden Breasts finds her aspiring actress attempting to get ahead
in the biz through breast enlargement, only to discover her augmented mammaries
have assumed a carnivorous bent. I guess this might have worked with a suitably absurdist quality but, aside from
Ken’s cameo as Dr Lucy, it’s desperately weak.
Cunningham,
veteran of Friday the 13th
and Deep Star Six, appears to be
trying something vaguely arty in Jibaku,
a blend of animation and necrophilia in which Lara Harris falls for a Japanese
corpse. It’s mostly rather dull, as is Hellmans’s Stanley’s Girlfriend, in which John Saxon recounts a ménage a
trois. The final segment, My Twin, The
Worm has Michele-Barbara Pelletier recall a comatose tale of her symbiotic
link to a tapeworm.
Most of the
segments feature breasts and gore, none of them are remotely scary, and none of
them have really clever twists (or even vaguely clever ones); that’s reserved
for Joe Dante’s wraparound (although, again, it’s not that clever), in which
Henry Gibson’s tour guide at Ultra Studios assembles the various storytellers at
an on-the-lot house where they find must tell a true tale to get out again.
Gibson’s great, of course, and Dick Miller naturally cameos. As such, Dante’s
involvement is the most involving part of Trapped Ashes, but it’s still not
really all that.
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