In layman’s terms, he was shot.

The Avengers

3.15: The Gilded Cage

An engaging episode on several fronts, from JP Spagge and his scene-stealing major domo to the significant detail that our villains keep keeping one step ahead of Steed and Cathy. It’s also a tour de force for the latter, with Honor Blackman first under the illusion that she’s been banged up for murder and then finding herself out-on-a-limb, trying to walk the tightrope of convincing the bank robbers she really is intent on robbing the bank.

Cathy: How can I go through a whole trial and not remember anything?

That’s because Steed, who has procured the services of Spagge (Patrick Magee, possibly best known for A Clockwork Orange these days, he also featured in Season 2’s Killer Whale), “a sort of entrepreneur of crime”, has been shut out of the picture as the gang attempt to assess Mrs Gale’s bona fides and straight-up-ness, or lack thereof. She first appears to have been banged up for the murder of Spagge, although this is never the most convincing of ruses, as Cathy points out.

Abe Benham: Friends, I give you my latest offering. It’s simply called ‘Gold Vault’.

Edric Connor, a rare prominently-cast black actor in the show, registers solidly on the plank-ish scale, which is a tad unfortunate as Abe Benham is the gang leader and so gets the lion’s share of the dialogue (also featuring is Martin Friend, Styggron in The Android Invasion). He has gusto, though, I’ll give him that.

Cathy’s coolness under pressure is the main appeal of these scenes, as they move up the date of the robbery and grill her on her knowledge of gold (for which she has to prove well-versed about Fort Knox, handy for her 007 outing the following year). The actual robbery, gas mask clad and in a rush of knockout fumes, is memorable, but Cathy having done all the hard work, it’s for Steed to show up and start shooting the bad guys; he even exits set left with those he’s apprehended/maimed, leaving Mrs Gale to have a roll around with one of the remaining villains.

Spagge: I do believe you’re a snob, Fleming.

Fleming: Naturally, sir. That’s what I’m paid for.

Engaging as the heist plot is, though, easily the best part of the episode is Norman Chappell’s erudite butler Fleming (Chappell’s third of six Avengers guest spots). He’s entirely enamoured of Steed’s boundless class (“A gentleman of obvious quality”), and most upset to find he’s working with the police.

This element too, with Steed realising his phone has been tapped and staging his own death (very symmetrical) in order to fool the villains, leads to amusing exchanges, as Fleming, who has “seldom known a man with such exquisite taste” expresses the inclination to send him a floral tribute (“Thirty bob in exchange for forty years”).

Roger Marshall’s teleplay is a solid one, then, but The Gilded Cage doesn’t quite ascend to the level of first rate, partly down to Blackman having to pull all the weight in her scenes. The ending's very good fun, though, as Spagge tries to dob his manservant in while Steed is having none of it (“He’s also a very good butler. I can find a niche for him”) … until Cathy tells him there’s a 10% reward for the man’s arrest.

Agree? Disagree? Mildly or vehemently? Let me know in the comments below.

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You guys sure like watermelon.

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(SPOILERS) Perhaps, if Martin Scorsese hadn’t been so opposed to the idea of Marvel movies constituting cinema, The Irishman would have been a better film. It’s a decent film, assuredly. A respectable film, definitely. But it’s very far from being classic. And a significant part of that is down to the usually assured director fumbling the execution. Or rather, the realisation. I don’t know what kind of crazy pills the ranks of revered critics have been taking so as to recite as one the mantra that you quickly get used to the de-aging effects so intrinsic to its telling – as Empire magazine put it, “you soon… fuggadaboutit” – but you don’t. There was no point during The Irishman that I was other than entirely, regrettably conscious that a 75-year-old man was playing the title character. Except when he was playing a 75-year-old man.

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Joker (2019)
(SPOILERS) So the murder sprees didn’t happen, and a thousand puff pieces desperate to fan the flames of such events and then told-ya-so have fallen flat on their faces. The biggest takeaway from Joker is not that the movie is an event, when once that seemed plausible but not a given, but that any mainstream press perspective on the picture appears unable to divorce its quality from its alleged or actual politics. Joker may be zeitgeisty, but isn’t another Taxi Driver in terms of cultural import, in the sense that Taxi Driver didn’t have a Taxi Driver in mind when Paul Schrader wrote it. It is, if you like, faux-incendiary, and can only ever play out on that level. It might be more accurately described as a grubbier, grimier (but still polished and glossy) The Talented Ripley, the tale of developing psychopathy, only tailored for a cinemagoing audience with few options left outside of comic book fare.

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Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood (2019)
(SPOILERS) My initial reaction to Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood was mild disbelief that Tarantino managed to hoodwink studios into coming begging to make it, so wilfully perverse is it in disregarding any standard expectations of narrative or plotting. Then I remembered that studios, or studios that aren’t Disney, are desperate for product, and more especially, product that might guarantee them a hit. Quentin’s latest appears to be that, but whether it’s a sufficient one to justify the expense of his absurd vanity project remains to be seen.

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Knives Out (2019)
(SPOILERS) “If Agatha Christie were writing today, she’d have a character who’s an Internet troll.” There’s a slew of ifs and buts in that assertion, but it tells you a lot about where Rian Johnson is coming from with Knives Out. As in, Christie might – I mean, who can really say? – but it’s fair to suggest she wouldn’t be angling her material the way Johnson does, who for all his pronouncement that “This isn’t a message movie” is very clearly making one. He probably warrants a hesitant pass on that statement, though, to the extent that Knives Out’s commentary doesn’t ultimately overpower the whodunnit side of the plot. On the other hand, when Daniel Craig’s eccentrically accented sleuth Benoit Blanc is asked “You’re not much of a detective, are you?” the only fair response is vigorous agreement.

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Christmas with the Kranks (2004)
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Casino Royale (2006)
(SPOILERS) Despite the doubts and trepidation from devotees (too blonde, uncouth etc.) that greeted Daniel Craig’s casting as Bond, and the highly cynical and low-inspiration route taken by Eon in looking to Jason Bourne's example to reboot a series that had reached a nadir with Die Another Day, Casino Royale ends up getting an enormous amount right. If anything, its failure is that it doesn’t push far enough, so successful is it in disarming itself of the overblown set pieces and perfunctory plotting that characterise the series (even at its best), elements that would resurge with unabated gusto in subsequent Craig excursions.

For the majority of its first two hours, Casino Royale is top-flight entertainment, with returning director Martin Campbell managing to exceed his excellent work reformatting Bond for the ‘90s. That the weakest sequence (still good, mind) prior to the finale is a traditional “big” (but not too big) action set piece involving an attempt to…

It's their place, Mac. They have a right to make of it what they can. Besides, you can't eat scenery!

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(SPOILERS) With the space of thirty-five years, Bill Forsyth’s gentle eco-parable feels more seductive than ever. Whimsical is a word often applied to Local Hero, but one shouldn’t mistake that description for its being soft in the head, excessively sentimental or nostalgic. Tonally, in terms of painting a Scottish idyll where the locals are no slouches in the face of more cultured foreigners, the film hearkens to both Powell and Pressburger (I Know Where I’m Going!) and Ealing (Whisky Galore!), but it is very much its own beast.

I’m the famous comedian, Arnold Braunschweiger.

Last Action Hero (1993)
(SPOILERS) Make no mistake, Last Action Hero is a mess. But even as a mess, it might be more interesting than any other movie Arnie made during that decade, perhaps even in his entire career. Hellzapoppin’ (after the 1941 picture, itself based on a Broadway revue) has virtually become an adjective to describe films that comment upon their own artifice, break the fourth wall, and generally disrespect the convention of suspending disbelief in the fictions we see parading across the screen. It was fairly audacious, some would say foolish, of Arnie to attempt something of that nature at this point in his career, which was at its peak, rather than playing it safe. That he stumbled profoundly, emphatically so since he went up against the behemoth that is Jurassic Park (slotted in after the fact to open first), should not blind one to the considerable merits of his ultimate, and final, really, attempt to experiment with the limits of his screen persona.

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Collateral Beauty (2016)
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Ice Station Zebra (1968)
The fourth big screen adaptation of an Alistair MacLean novel, Ice Station Zebra was released in the same year as the more successful Where Eagles Dare. 1968 represents probably the high water mark for interpretations of the author’s work, although The Guns of Navarone remains the biggest hit. As with most movie versions of MacLean novels (or, let’s face it, movie versions of anybody’s novels) fans of the book find much to gripe about; the latter half diverges greatly from the page. Those who complain about the languid pace are onto something too. To be sure, there’s an array of valid criticisms that can be levelled at Ice Station Zebra. But it also has a factor going for it that elevates John Sturges’ movie, and keeps me coming back to it; the über-cool presence of Patrick McGoohan.

The man who played The Prisoner (he filmed Zebra during a break from the TV show, which helps to explain the only truly hopeless episode in the run; Do Not Forsake Me Oh My Darling, …

Now In Full Color, with a Happier Ending

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