Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
(2016)
(SPOILERS) Aside from providing Seth
Grahame-Smith with a career (and thus rather underlining the crux of the
complaint) there seems to have been very little point to his genre mash-ups.
While I wouldn’t enthusiastically support magpie running towards creatively
barren terrain the way he (or Max Landis) tends to, there is potential for having good fun with the clash of elements,
particularly in this case. And, with Burr “Igby
Goes Down” Steers adapting and calling the shots, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies ought to have been a given. So it’s
a shame that, by and large, it’s a bore.
Burr’s no action guy, which explains the
pedestrian colour-wash cinematography and unengaging fight scenes.
Occasionally, just occasionally, he wrings something from the material that
almost works. The fight between Elizabeth Bennet (Lily James) and Mr Darcy (Sam
Riley) as they exchange Austen dialogue is well conceived and edited, and
almost – but not quite – makes up for the sub-Buffy super-trained kick-ass chicks doing their zombie kung fu (as
in, it’s dull-witted, and hasn’t been “cool” since the turn of the millennium).
And coming out best of the cast is easily
Matt Smith as bumbling Parson Collins, reminding you of why he was a good
choice for Doctor Who in the first
place, before being swiftly undone by terrible dialogue and naff character
choices; he’s a natural comic performer, and shines here, elevating the movie
whenever he’s on screen (“Oh, is there
some sort of trouble? Oh, it appears there is?”; hopelessly inept at
fighting zombies, he appeals far more than the characters who do so ever-so
blandly and heroically).
Sam Riley also does well, essaying the
acid-tongued curmudgeon in agreeable fashion; if ever that never-to-be Blake’s 7 reboot gets off the ground,
he’s a shoe-in for Avon. James makes little impression (is that Lily James or
Lily Collins?). Meanwhile, Jack Huston is so ineffectual, he seems entirely
intent on ensuring his star turn in Boardwalk
Empire goes down as a one-off; his villain isn’t even hissably one-note. Elsewhere,
there’s support from Sally Phillips (amusingly annoying) Lena Headey
(predictably stony-faced) and Charles Dance (very Dance-y).
What this really needed was the Peter
Jackson of Brain Dead/Bad Taste unleashed on it, relishing
gallons of blood and dismembered bodies in bodices, but with the added
attraction of Hammer Horror countryside. Instead, it’s fairly easy to forget
there are any zombies in Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (it
mustered a 15 certificate in the UK, but hardly justifies the rating). There’s
a nice animated introduction using cut-outs, but that’s about as far as things
go; Steers fails to conjure an ounce of atmosphere or tension, or sufficient winningly
gruesome laughs.
Agree? Disagree? Mildly or vehemently? Let me know in the comments below.