4.10 A Surfeit of H20
A great episode title (definitely
one of the series’ top ten) with a storyline boasting all the necessary
ingredients (strange deaths in a small village, eccentric supporting
characters, Emma even utters the immortal “You
diabolical mastermind, you!”), yet A
Surfeit of H20 is unable to quite pull itself above the run of
the mill.
Of course, in the such
glorious days as these of HAARP and – alleged – weather control, an evil
corporation (Granny Gregson’s Glorious Grogs Incorporated, its factory engaged
in the fermentation of intoxicating liquors; selling various invidious varieties
of vino, basically – this is a fine episode for alliteration) indulging a
localised downpour “for about a year”
seems almost innocuous. Although, they have the right general idea for their
nefarious scheme; providing “relentless,
never-ceasing rain” to order: “It’s
the biggest military weapon since the nuclear bomb” (and we had one of
those a few episodes back).
Steed mentions cloud
seeding in passing (but not Wilhelm Reich), but isn’t clear quite how the
diabolical types are supposed to have achieved this in Colin Finbow’s sole
teleplay for the show. Sidney Hayers, in his second spin in the director’s
chair following The Cybernauts, delivers
inventively, particularly when it comes to finding such unlikely elements as a
manhole in the middle of field. My favourite visual signature, however, is the Naked Gun-style cartoon body print
puddle left by a drowning victim (John Kidd’s Sir Arnold Kelly).
Part of the problem with
this one is that the villains aren’t remotely interesting, even given the
estimable presence of Geoffrey Palmer in his fourth and final appearance in the
series. Dr Sturm (Albert Lieven) – geddit? – at least has a suitably despicable torture
technique, though, possibly inspired by the previous year’s Goldfinger, strapping Emma down on a
vegetable press (“Well, I will just have
to squeeze this information out of you”).
Steed: What is it?
Joyce: Old bark.
Steed: Must have put the dog in it,
too.
More memorable is
Steed’s obligatory object of flirtation (“Can
I help you?”: “Anytime”), Joyce
Jason (Sue Lloyd, for whom Michael Caine memorably made an omelette in the same
year’s The Ipcress File), particularly
his pestering her for wine purchases (vegetable wines, hence the press: “Have you ever tried to tread potatoes?”)
before settling on Buttercup (“Now,
that’s more my cup of tea”). Macnee’s on great form as an infernal nuisance
(“See he gets what he wants and get the
idiot out of here”).
Jonah Barnard: The flood cometh!
Mrs Peel: Yes, well I’ve put a down
payment on a canoe.
The supporting eccentrics
don’t quite attain classic form, alas, although Noel Purcell is memorably
boisterous as prophet of doom Jonah Barnard, mocked by villagers and preaching
to a congregation of a boy and dog, transforming into highly pugilistic mode (“Mr Steed, I’m not a violent man by nature,
but when faced with the problem of survival…”) and strangling a villain
with gusto (“Hallelujah!”), the
latter possibly a wry commentary on religious extremism.
There’s also Mr Cheeseman
himself, Talfryn Thomas, in typically scene-hogging mode as Eli Barker, with
the occasional memorable line (“Poaching
isn’t like stealing, is it?” he comments of his drowned brother’s career
path).
Mrs Peel: Gentlemen should knock before
entering.
Steed: What are you, a sparkle in a
seaweed soda?
Mrs Peel: No, I’m a kick in the nettle
noggin.
The highlight, as it
often is, is the interplay between Steed and Emma, from his casual rescue of
her (above), to a discussion of Eli’s demise (“It could have been an accident. He decided to sip a surreptitious sup and
slipped. Splash!”), to Steed
expressing surprise at Jonah’s accusation of Emma entering a pit of iniquity (“Is she a very sinful woman?”) to the
flattening of Steed’s bowler (“It was
over very quickly. I don’t think it suffered”).
Indeed, there’s nigh
on a torrent of good lines (“Lovely
weather we’re not having” and the titular “There seems to be surfeit of H2O in this vicinity”), the bare bones
are promising, it’s fun seeing Steed hopping in and out of different costumes
according to location rather than design, and Emma’s always dressed to impress,
but this one never quite gets beyond an arresting premise.
Agree? Disagree? Mildly or vehemently? Let me know in the comments below.