The Great Wall
(2016)
(SPOILERS) I’ve seen comments that The Great Wall isn’t a great white hero movie, as Matt Damon is
only a supporting character. Who are they trying to kid? Sure, he isn’t the
character extending ultimate authority in Zhang Yimou’s latest foray into the
realm of colourful, stylised martial arts choreography, but the emotional beats
undoubtedly revolve around him, as does the unrefined arc of an archer for hire
discovering a higher cause.
In all honesty, I wasn’t that taken with Yimou’s earlier
pictures in the same genre (Hero, House of Flying Daggers) as replete with
gorgeous imagery as they are. The Great Wall is duly impressive on the
costuming front – much less so Matt’s fake beard, and it’s a relief to makeup
artists everywhere when he ditches it – and Yimou stages several impressive
action sequences during the first half (notably they all involve Damon braving
it against CGI beasties; a scene in which Tain Jing bungee attacks the monsters
unleashed on the wall only succeeds in illustrating what a daft idea that is).
Unfortunately, The
Great Wall’s plot is entirely rudimentary (the Great Wall of China was
built to withstand the onslaught of creatures such as this… and that’s it; oh,
and they’re smarter than anyone realised, so a wall it took 1700 years to put
up is reduced to a “Doh!” when it becomes clear they dug a tunnel underneath). There’s
also no attempt to disguise the cynicism with which this US-China co-production
attempts to break into that lucrative Chinese market and co-opt it for international appeal (spearheaded by Legendary,
now owned by the Wanda group, which also put Jing in Kong: Skull Island and gave her absolutely nothing to do). Six
writers get a credit, including the duo who gave us the inglorious Prince of Persia (I’m assuming it was Damon
who brought Tony Gilroy on board), and the plotting and characterisation never
rise above the generic.
Hollywood’s simply at a loss in the face of unassailable
Chinese box office. When the fourth most successful film of the year globally
is a Chinese movie that made almost 99% of its $870m gross in the home market,
what need is there to export? Conversely, of course, Hollywood sees dollar
signs so will throw money at that director to come over, where he will likely
end up in the same situation as every other imported talent who gets wrung
through the system (be it a John Woo or Paul Verhoeven).
Still, The Great Wall
managed to make half its gross outside of China, so it wasn’t a total bust, but
since half its gross is what it cost to make, it wasn’t a sound investment
either. For such an expensive movie, the CGI is resoundingly average at best,
rudimentary at worst. Jing makes little impression, although Hanyu Zhang and
particularly Andy Lau fare better, making the best they can from cardboard cut-out
characters. Damon is surprisingly okay here, considering he doesn’t really fit
a period piece like this at all. Perhaps it’s just that he’s so damn
personable. Pedro Pascal is the rascally sidekick through and through, with all
that entails, while Willem Dafoe is unforgivably wasted as a schemer who wants
the black powder for himself.
I was reasonably on board with The Great Wall for the first hour, but it descends into unstinting
dullness as it progresses. There’s a sequence where our heroes must head to the
capital on balloons that is both dangerous looking (most of them appear to be
going down in flames) and replete with entirely unconvincing effects, while the
climax is a complete wash (although, the manner in which Damon and Pascal head
off on new adventures at the end has such cheerful flippancy, it reminded me of
nothing so much as carefree family adventure romps of yesteryear, from Ray Harryhausen
to ‘80s Raiders-rip-offs). Someone
should have realised there was big trouble on this great wall of China before
throwing shed loads of money at it.
Agree? Disagree? Mildly or vehemently? Let me know in the comments below.