Justice League
(2017)
(SPOILERS) Superheroes, and superhero movies, trade in
hyperbole, so it shouldn’t be surprising that DC’s two releases this year have been
responded to in like, only each at opposite ends of the spectrum. Wonder Woman was insanely over-praised
in the rush to fete a female superhero finally leading a movie, crushing all nuanced
criticism in its wake. Justice League,
meanwhile, has been lambasted on the basis that it’s more of the same as Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, only
worse – to the extent there have been calls for a Zack Snyder Director’s Cut,
which is quite an extent, as extents go – as it’s guilty of being an unholy
clash of styles, grimdark Zack scowling in one corner and quip-happy Joss pirouetting
in the other. And yes, the movie is consequently a mess, but it’s a relatively
painless mess, with the sense to get in and get out again before the viewer has
enough time to assess the full extent of the damage.
The manner in which Justice
League has been cut to the bone, excising anything that might be considered
a subplot, with occasional scenes left here or there that might have amounted
to genuine ones once – Martha Kent selling the ranch – put me in mind of other
ruthlessly slaughtered turkeys that studios gutted and dumped in the forlorn hope
of maximisng hiding-to-nothing box office through additional screenings per day.
The Avengers, for example. That is,
the 1998 big screen version of the British TV series. Justice League is duly replete with the necessary, expected
elements – introducing the various team members, having them meet, squabble and
finally unite as a very powerful CGI menace assembles an awesome object with
which it plans to subdue, subjugate and overcome the planet – but they move by at
such a clip there’s never a sense that anyone’s particularly keen on the story
being told; they just want to get it over and done with and hope the takings
are sufficient to call it evens.
Which is curiously appropriate to DC’s game plan, if you can
discern a grand design to their hasty, catch-up cinematic universe, as Justice League is a two-hour equivalent of
what Marvel, in their long-game wisdom, has taken half a decade to arrive at with
their Infinity Stones. Both sport an oversized, all-CGI humanoid who looks
pretty shit, let’s be honest (although Marvelheads will vehemently deny Thanos
looks anything less than amazeballs), hunting down the items – Mother Boxes or
Infinity Stones – that will confer ultimate power over all.
Ciaran Hinds plays Steppenwolf but deserves zero blame for
how entirely forgettable the character is (I mean, really, the band would have been more threatening). His gibbering
Parademons make more of an impact, although they reminded me unflatteringly of Katana’s
imbecilic henchman in Highlander II: The
Quickening. Steppenwolf isn’t as
ridiculous as David Thewlis’ head plastered onto a buff god of war in Wonder Woman, and he’s probably no worse
when it comes down to it than a number of less than scintillating Marvel heroes
(if we’re going to get into brand wars), but that doesn’t make him any more
acceptable. No doubt, if the mentioned Darkseid ever makes an appearance, evidently
planned as the focus of the now aborted Justice
League 2, he’ll also be all-CGI, all-underwhelming.
The idea, I’m guessing, is that bad guys shouldn’t matter
too much, as this is all about the team up. And to some extent, that isn’t
wrong – I can’t say I remember the Chitauri, particularly – although the
effectiveness of this quintet/sextet (depending on what point in the movie
you’re at) is variable. Ezra Miller’s Barry Allen/ The Flash is easily the
highlight of the picture. Barry has the most interesting arc – fearful and
erratic in his skill set, learning to conquer one and hone the other – and he’s
where Whedon’s po-mo dialogue and verbal diarrhoea actually fit the character.
Much of that is down to Miller’s incredibly amiable, wired performance, hugely
stoked to be with genuine superheroes and entirely humble about his own
abilities. It’s inevitable that Whedon will reference Pet Sematary when talking about bringing Supes back from the grave,
and have Barry worry that Cyborg will consider it “racially charged” when he offers a fist bump, but Miller’s giddy-geek-jacked-on-junk-food
makes the material seem almost fresh.
If Ray Fisher can’t do much with Victor Stone/Cyborg, it’s
because he’s encumbered on every level. The character occupies the realm of
heightened body horror to an extent even Robocop
was reluctant to explore, and it’s nigh impossible to move past that
effectively into a breezier, more carefree superhero narrative. Early scenes do
offer something of a sop, as he rebukes his father (Joe Morton) for turning him
into a monster, but without that essential pain, all you have is a guy in a
crap CGI outfit. And the CGI really is
crap.
Jason Momoa’s boozehound-bro meathead Arthur Curry/Aquaman
has plenty of personality, but unfortunately none of it is terribly appealing.
I’m mildly interested to see how they’re intending to revolve a whole movie around
him, as aside from a very Whedon scene in which he shares his feelings thanks
to accidentally sitting on Diana’s Lasso of Truth, his whiff of alpha-dominance
is faintly obnoxious (as for flying through the air killing Parademons: well,
only Snyder could make something as ridiculous as that almost work). We briefly
see his soggy undersea abode, and I’m none the wiser about any of it,
particularly who Amber Heard is playing and why.
So it’s one hit against two misses for the newbies, which is
the same ratio for those with whom we’re more familiar. Gal Gadot comes through
the proceedings with dignity entirely intact, despite numerous arse-shots and
an uptick in lowest common denominator impulses – Alfred, who clearly spends
too much time on his own, talking up her potential to bachelor Bruce, Diana
witheringly but indulgently noting she’s surrounded by boys rather than men – after
the restraint of Wonder Woman.
Batfleck… Hang up the cape, Ben. The actor looks puffy and
ill-at-ease when he isn’t in the suit, and when he (or his stunt double) is,
there’s a consistent air of how ridiculous it is that his character is even
attempting to impose himself on a situation where he’s entirely physically out
of his depth (regardless of the number of wonderful toys he has). Indeed, it simply
isn’t enough for Bruce to mention he’s already too old for this sort of thing,
as we’re continually wondering why the hell he’s squatting on the edge of a
girder from which he might trip and plummet to his death at any moment, or how
shot his knees must be from repeatedly leaping great distances onto concrete.
More damagingly, Affleck’s just plain uninteresting and uninterested. He brings
nothing to the part aside from tepid competence.
In contrast, while I’d rather Henry Cavill didn’t stop being
Supes, between his uncannily CGI-d out soup strainer, the incessant
over-compensations for past sins against the character, and his rapid recovery
from resurrection, he’d be forgiven for having had enough. The return from the
grave is handled with almost amusing alacrity – at some point a subplot with a
bad Supes in black was evidently dumped, on the reasonable basis that his
character had already spent quite enough time glowering without yet suggesting
him as discernibly Super-like – and not inconsiderable cluelessness; why didn’t
the fledgling League simply bring Lois (or his mom) to see him straightaway? It
would have saved multiple brutal beat downs. And then, it takes him a mere five
minutes of standing around in a corn field and he’s good to go. Offhand doesn’t
begin to cover it. Most wretchedly, Superman has a big old chuckle with Cyborg
after defeating Steppenwolf, because, you see, Superman laughs now (see also his race with Barry; the guy’s really lightened up!) In the same vein, he
refuses to stand idly by when there’s a bout city-wide destruction porn,
breaking off defeating Steppenwolf to fly away and save a building full of
people! Priorities, there. Ones that come across as pathetically pandering.
Justice League is every
bit as garish and aesthetically distracting as the trailers suggested, but
that’s Snyder’s palette of choice for you (albeit, as some comparable caps have
shown, Whedon initiated significant regrading of the CGI action fest climax to
make it look a little less two-tone). It’s also less frenetic than typical
Snyder, probably partly because Danny Elfman’s not entirely sympathetic cues
are married to the images instead of Hans Zimmer’s.
I’m probably in the minority who considers the DC movies
much of a muchness in that none of them are terrible good or straight up
terrible – even Batman v Superman –
and Justice League comfortably joins
their ranks. While Justice League has
abundant issues – and I’m not exactly itching to see whatever Lex Luther and a
ridiculously bleach-blonde Deathstroke have planned next – there’s just enough
Whedon pep and zip to make it a fun ride. Look, I’m fully cognisant of the guy’s
creative shortcomings (putting his personal life to one side), and his
undeniable talents with structure don’t really have a chance to come into play when
attempting to “fix” a movie at such a late stage, meaning it’s his variable hit
ratio with everyone-gives-good-gags approach to dialogue that’s to the fore
(that or a moment where two characters tell each other what they’re feeling,
laced with sexual innuendo, then
giving a good gag), but he ensures this picture isn’t a slog. It’s probably
been pruned more than was necessary, but there’s enough brio here to make the
future of DC less foreboding.
Warner Bros isn’t happy, though. Very occasionally, perhaps
not a silk purse but a fit-for-purpose wallet can be made out of a sow’s ear – World War Z was much better than it had
any right to be, given the problems that plagued it, not least its director –
so expecting miracles from course correcting Justice League by bringing in Whedon were unrealistic. And
expecting audiences who’d been burned by Batman
v Superman to rinse and repeat for something that appeared to nurse all the
same complaints was likewise foolhardy. So they’re looking to restructure, but
as long as they maintain the approach of wanting Marvel-level results “now”
they’re probably continually set to stumble.
There’s a standalone Batman movie, unlikely to feature
Batfleck, but the latest suggestion is that he will appear in the Barry Allen
timeline reboot Flashpoint, which
would make sense as an exit strategy, where WB/DC can pick and choose which
characters they want to keep and who to recast (not that it really matters with
a universe already as woollily built as this). Robert Zemeckis was being talked
about for that one – he needs a hit – and Warners rightly perceives that Flash
went down well in Justice League. On
the other hand, they also seem to think Aquaman did. Well, they have to; his solo
movie’s already in the can.
Agree? Disagree? Mildly or vehemently? Let me know in the comments below.