Once Upon A Time in Hollywood… Ain’t that the truth.

Oscar Winners 2020

The Best Picture upset (most had it as a serious contender, but a long shot as a winner due to the dual nomination with Best International Feature and that one being in the bag) can only be a good thing for the ceremony, a further strike against predictability (whether or not it was a response to Green Book and the ongoing campaigning over representation among nominees). While some are grumbling about dual Best Picture category wins, anyone familiar with the BAFTAs is more than used to that sort of thing. Most of the rest of the biggies, director aside (although, not unexpected), were widely expected, so it also means that, in an era where the race is scrutinised to death, that it hasn’t exhausted itself long before the ceremony.

And the ceremony? I only caught the highlights, very fortunately by the look of some of those musical numbers. Some decent Chris Rock gags (“Jeff Bezos is so rich, he got divorced and he’s still the richest man in the world"; “Marty, I gotta tell you, I loved the first season of The Irishman”). Bring back the MC, though. Don’t act like you don’t want one. Be honest that no one has the cojones to brave the Twitter storm; picking the right one can mean ratings, apart from anything else.

I picked 14 of the winners this time, fairly par for my slack course since I started recording my guesswork in 2013 (they go: 11, 16, 16, 15, 14, 16, 15).

Best Picture

Winner: Parasite (Kwak Sin-ae and Bong Joon-ho)

I guessed: 1917

“We never imagined this to ever happen.” Nor did 90% of the Oscar pundits. I’m relieved it wasn’t 1917, which represents Hollywood at its most unremarkable and self-satisfied (technical achievements aside).

Best Director

Winner: Bong Joon-ho (Parasite)

I guessed: Sam Mendes (1917)

Result! It also underlines that there was enough solidarity behind the Best Picture that it wasn’t merely a flukey result of the preferential vote (I also think Bong’s a much better director than he is a writer, but that’s true of 99% of directors who are directors first).

Best Actor

Winner: Joaquin Phoenix (Joker)

I guessed: Joaquin Phoenix

What kind of medications is Joaquin on? Not ones you want to take just before you go up on stage. You certainly wouldn’t want to get into a staring match with him. That said, I can’t fault most of what he had to say.

Best Actress

Winner: Renee Zellweger (Judy)

I guessed: Renee Zellweger

Was Renee bored of all the awards by this point? She seemed to be forgetting her speech as she delivered it. One of those acting wins (others include Jeremy Irons, Jessica Lange, Julianne Moore and Jeff Bridges) for a film no one bothered seeing.

Best Supporting Actor

Winner: Brad Pitt (Once Upon a Time in Hollywood)

I guessed: Brad Pitt

Inevitable. Brad’s speechwriters deserve an award for their work this season.

Best Supporting Actress

Winner: Laura Dern (Marriage Story)

I guessed: Laura Dern

Gushing with the best of them (“Some say never meet your heroes, but I say, if you’re really blessed, you get them as your parents”), but mentioning Bruce in an acceptance speech is always a positive.

Best Original Screenplay

Winner: Parasite ((Bong Joon-ho and Han Jin-won)

I guessed: Parasite

There’s discussion one whether Bong’s tally should count as equalling Walt’s (since International Feature goes to a country). I think it should. I mean, who’s taking the thing home?

Best Adapted Screenplay

Winner: Jojo Rabbit (Taika Waititi)

I guessed: Little Women

I had the winner as my interesting choice, because Taika threw out the book, rather than because it’s a good screenplay (it stinks). So Waititi’s officially part of the establishment now. He didn’t even take the piss in his speech.

Best Animated Feature

Winner: Toy Story 4

I guessed: Klaus

Outrageous that this merely decent fourquel won when at least two others were far superior. I guessed a Pixar win, only in the wrong category.

Best Cinematography

Winner: 1917 (Roger Deakins)

I guessed: 1917

I don’t know, you go an eternity of nominations without a sniff of a win, and then the statuettes won’t stop coming.

Best Production Design

Winner: Once Upon a Time in Hollywood (Barbara Ling, Nancy Haigh)

I guessed: Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

So Quentin’s film takes home two Oscars. Two more than Marty’s.

Best Costume Design

Winner: Little Women (Jacqueline Durran)

I guessed: Little Women

Greta has to make do with a win in the frocks department. Very gender-stereotyped, that.

Best Make Up and Hairstyling

Winner: Bombshell (Kazu Hiro, Anne Morgan and Vivian Baker)

I guessed: Bombshell

Let’s be clear: this was not for the work done on Nicole Kidman.

Best Film Editing

Winner: Ford v Ferrari (Andrew Buckland and Michael McCusker)

I guessed: Parasite

Can’t argue with that.

Best Sound Editing

Winner: Ford v Ferrari (Donald Sylvester)

I guessed: Ford v Ferrari

See above.

Best Sound Mixing

Winner: 1917 (Mark Taylor and Stuart Wilson)

I guessed: Ford v Ferrari

I had the 1917 sound award in the wrong category.

Best Visual Effects

Winner: 1917 (Guillaume Rocheron, Greg Butler and Dominic Tuohy)

I guessed: 1917

James Corden. James Corden. James Corden. Will that banish him?

Best Original Score

Winner: Joker (Hildur Guõnadóttir)

I guessed: Joker

All women are superheroes? Yeah, lap that nonsense up. Hildur had sure been prepped too.

Best Original Song

Winner: Rocketman (I’m Gonna) Love Me Again, Elton John

I guessed: Rocketman

Elton’s second Oscar.

Best International Feature

Winner: Parasite (South Korea)

I guessed: Parasite

Wouldn’t it have been funny if hadn’t won this but still won Best Picture? No? Okay, then.

Best Documentary Feature

Winner: American Factory (Steve Bognar, Julia and Jeff Reichert)

I guessed: Honeyland

Everyone was saying American Factory, but I just wasn’t having it. Netflix got two Oscars, then.

Best Animated Short

Winner: Hair Love (Matthew A Cherry & Karen Rupert Toliver)

I guessed: Kitbull

The mistake of thinking, because you didn’t think much of something, it surely won’t win (Jojo Rabbit syndrome). Still, a flawlessly on-message speech, that one.

Best Documentary Short

Winner: Learning to Skate in a Warzone (If You’re a Girl) (Carol Dysinger and Elena Andreicheva)

I guessed: St. Louis Superman

I should have gone with the received wisdom there too.

Best Live Action Short

Winner: The Neighbors’ Window (Marshall Curry)

I guessed: Nefta Football Club

I wouldn’t call anything in this category an upset, but I don’t think The Neighbor’s Window was generally predicted.

Agree? Disagree? Mildly or vehemently? Let me know in the comments below.

Comments

She was addicted to Tums for a while.

Marriage Story (2019)
(SPOILERS) I don’t tend to fall heavily for Noah Baumbach fare. He’s undoubtedly a distinctive voice – even if his collaborations with Wes Anderson are the least of that director’s efforts – but his devotion to an exclusive, rarefied New York bubble becomes ever more off-putting with each new project. And ever more identifiable as being a lesser chronicler of the city’s privileged quirks than his now disinherited forbear Woody Allen, who at his peak mastered a balancing act between the insightful, hilarious and self-effacing. Marriage Story finds Baumbach going yet again where Woody went before, this time brushing up against the director’s Ingmar Bergman fixation.

You can’t climb a ladder, no. But you can skip like a goat into a bar.

Juno and the Paycock (1930)
(SPOILERS) Hitchcock’s second sound feature. Such was the lustre of this technological advance that a wordy play was picked. By Sean O’Casey, upon whom Hitchcock based the prophet of doom at the end of The Birds. Juno and the Paycock, set in 1922 during the Irish Civil War, begins as a broad comedy of domestic manners, but by the end has descended into full-blown Greek (or Catholic) tragedy. As such, it’s an uneven but still watchable affair, even if Hitch does nothing to disguise its stage origins.

I mean, I am just a dumb bunny, but, we are good at multiplying.

Zootropolis (2016)
(SPOILERS) The key to Zootropolis’ creative success isn’t so much the conceit of its much-vaunted allegory regarding prejudice and equality, or – conversely – the fun to be had riffing on animal stereotypes (simultaneously clever and obvious), or even the appealing central duo voiced by Ginnifier Goodwin (as first rabbit cop Judy Hopps) and Jason Bateman (fox hustler Nick Wilde). Rather, it’s coming armed with that rarity for an animation; a well-sustained plot that doesn’t devolve into overblown set pieces or rest on the easy laurels of musical numbers and montages.

You know what I think? I think he just wants to see one cook up close.

The Green Mile (1999)
(SPOILERS) There’s something very satisfying about the unhurried confidence of the storytelling in Frank Darabont’s two prison-set Stephen King adaptations (I’m less beholden to supermarket sweep The Mist); it’s sure, measured and precise, certain that the journey you’re being take on justifies the (indulgent) time spent, without the need for flashy visuals or ornate twists (the twists there are feel entirely germane – with a notable exception – as if they could only be that way). But. The Green Mile has rightly come under scrutiny for its reliance on – or to be more precise, building its foundation on – the “Magical Negro” trope, served with a mild sprinkling of idiot savant (so in respect of the latter, a Best Supporting Actor nomination was virtually guaranteed). One might argue that Stephen King’s magical realist narrative flourishes well-worn narrative ploys and characterisations at every stage – such that John Coffey’s initials are announcement enough of his…

We live in a twilight world.

Tenet (2020)
(SPOILERS) I’ve endured a fair few confusingly-executed action sequences in movies – more than enough, actually – but I don’t think I’ve previously had the odd experience of being on the edge of my seat during one while simultaneously failing to understand its objectives and how those objectives are being attempted. Which happened a few times during Tenet. If I stroll over to the Wiki page and read the plot synopsis, it is fairly explicable (fairly) but as a first dive into this Christopher Nolan film, I frequently found it, if not impenetrable, then most definitely opaque.

I should have mailed it to the Marx Brothers.

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)
When your hero(es) ride off into the sunset at the end of a film, it’s usually a pretty clear indication that a line is being drawn under their adventures. Sure, rumours surfaced during the ‘90s of various prospective screenplays for a fourth outing for the whip-cracking archeologist. But I’m dubious anyone really expected it to happen. There seemed to be a natural finality to Last Crusade that made the announcement of his 2007 return nostalgically welcome but otherwise unwarranted. That it turned out so tepid merely seemed like confirmation of what we already knew; Indy’s time was past.

Farewell, dear shithead, farewell.

Highlander II: The Quickening (1991)
(SPOILERS) I saw Highlander II: The Quickening at the cinema. Yes, I actually paid money to see one of the worst mainstream sequels ever on the big screen. I didn’t bother investigating the Director’s Cut until now, since the movie struck me as entirely unsalvageable. I was sufficiently disenchanted with all things Highlander that I skipped the TV series and slipshod sequels, eventually catching Christopher Lambert’s last appearance as Connor MacLeod in Highlander: End Game by accident rather than design. But Highlander II’s on YouTube, and the quality is decent, so maybe the Director’s Cut improve matters and is worth a reappraisal? Not really. It’s still a fundamentally, mystifyingly botched retcon enabling the further adventures of MacLeod, just not quite as transparently shredded in the editing room.

A herbal enema should fix you up.

Never Say Never Again (1983)
(SPOILERS) There are plenty of sub-par Bonds in the official (Eon) franchise, several of them even weaker than this opportunistic remake of Thunderball, but they do still feel like Bond movies. Never Say Never Again, despite – or possibly because he’s part of it – featuring the much-vaunted, title-referencing return of the Sean Connery to the lead role, only ever feels like a cheap imitation. And yet, reputedly, it cost more than the same year’s Rog outing Octopussy.

Do you read Sutter Cane?

In the Mouth of Madness (1994)
(SPOILERS) The concluding chapter of John Carpenter’s unofficial Apocalypse Trilogy (preceded by The Thing and Prince of Darkness) is also, sadly, his last great movie. Indeed, it stands apart in the qualitative wilderness that beset him during the ‘90s (not for want of output). Michael De Luca’s screenplay had been doing the rounds since the ‘80s, even turned down by Carpenter at one point, and it proves ideal fodder for the director, bringing out the best in him. Even cinematographer Gary K Kibbe seems inspired enough to rise to the occasion. It could do without the chugging rawk soundtrack, perhaps, but then, that was increasingly where Carpenter’s interests resided (as opposed to making decent movies).

Charming. Now she's got the old boy's money, she's making a play for the younger one.

Woman of Straw (1964)
(SPOILERS) The first fruit of Sean cashing in on his Bond status in other leading man roles – he even wears the tux he’d later sport in Goldfinger. On one level, he isn’t exactly stretching himself as a duplicitous, misogynist bastard. On the other, he is actually the bad guy; this time, you aren’t supposed to be onside his capacity for killing people. It’s interesting to see Connery in his nascent star phase, but despite an engaging set up and a very fine performance from Ralph Richardson, Woman of Straw is too much of a slow-burn, trad crime thriller/melodrama to really make a mark. All very professionally polished, but the spoiled fruits of an earlier era.

Now In Full Color, with a Happier Ending

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